When Sunday Comes

Maguire isn't happy. He has read last weeks match report and it sitting tight lipped and silent in the changing rooms prior to kick off. 'My biggest critic is myself' he explains. I disagree.

It is claimed that the criticism leveled last week is a form of bullying. Cyber-bullying? Hmmmm. We'll see how he performs this week, whether or not he will warrant praise or scorn, big-upped or 'bullied'. Let's see.

The teams line up.

Team A (Bibs).

K. Maguire
R. Paine
B. Francois
H. Shafeie
B. Watts

Team B (Bibless).

D. Nolan
C. Egner
J. Brownbill
D. Miranda
D. Blackett

It's a scrappy start with handfuls of chances missed at both ends, shots flying wide from close range, misplaced passes, clumsy touches.

Eventually the game settles down and Team B take a two goal advantage, MAGUIRE AT FAULT FOR NEITHER. However, it doesn't take long for Paine and Francois to pull a couple back for the Bibs. Paine is twice denied nutmeg finishes by the thick and muscular thighs of Blackett taking his turn in goal, the ball squeezing past the well toned limbs in both instances, but vitally knocked off target.

The dapper English cricketer look sported by Watts seems to be inspiring him and rarely does a pass miss it's target. His laconic style juxtaposing well with the industry of Paine and Francois, working the channels like jet skis in shorts.

At the other end Miranda and Nolan are providing power play, giving Shafeie and whoever else is back a torrid time. A high ball from left to right finds Egner, who on the half-volley Yeboahs the shit out of it into the far left top-corner. MAGUIRE NOT AT FAULT.

A similar cross from the opposite side from Miranda finds the head of Blackett, but his nod towards the bottom corner is swatted away by Maguire - oddly reminiscent of the famous Pele/Banks save...



Maguire so far has been solid, and is extremely pleased with himself after the save, as he should be. The save isn't where the similarities between Banks and Maguire end, as both have hair loss issues.

On a similar note it is rumoured that Pele and Blackett share the curse of erectile dysfunction.

Normal service is soon resumed when after a messy tap-in is scored Maguire decides to let out a guttural scream to express his dissatisfaction with allowing the goal. Maybe he really is his biggest critic.

Shafeie has been in excellent stopper form at the back, frequently stopping attacks with an extended toe and cursory body check. Blackett shields the ball in the left hand corner and thinks the day is won when Shafeie goes to ground. But no. Even from on his arse Shafeie manages to get a foot around the ball and ruin Blackett's dream of not being successfully tackled, just once.

As the game progresses the legs of Francois and Paine win out, Egner and Blackett frequently stranded between the two as they race goalwards. Nolan is on about 10 for Team B, but the current count is in the favour of the Bibs.

Blackett receives numerous passes from Brownbill and Nolan in goal scoring positions, but elects to kick the ball high, wide, or at bits of Maguire the keeper can't move out of the way. Wasted chances are what hurt Team B tonight, with Team A wasting just as many, but crucially scoring just a couple more.

In the locker room everyone gets a biscuit. At the tube station Maguire opens his mouth to gag on an imaginary cock, just another Sunday night.