This is the thing I won. A pewter tankard. It's engraved with stuff. I won it. Other people were denied it because I was better than them. Yeah.
Who knew the names of all the Ghostbusters? I did. Who delved into his massive brain and obtained the knowledge that in fact it is Beetlejuice who specialises in exorcisms of the living. Eddie Marsan plays the driving instructor in Happy-Go-Lucky. I knew that. I somehow knew that Catherine Zeta Jones' character in Chicago was called Velma, and I haven't even seen the film.
I was a sub as well, a last minute replacement for someone else - not even the first choice replacement. A 'Nani' to the guy on a late shift's 'Ronaldo'. Sure I had nerves, I was unsure about the quality and depth of my geek knowledge, but the free beer and wine soon settled any butterflies and I was away. Telling people Ricky Hatton fought at Cesar's Palace (wrong) and that Sally Hawkins was in Topsy-Turvey (also wrong) with nary a care or reasonable excuse for why I thought these things were anything less than untruths. I was in a zone.
I was a bit competitive. Luckily the other people on the team were competitive to a level I have rarely seen - they made me look nonplussed for the victory. I get a bit competitive now and again. I can't play computer games on my lunch anymore because if I lose I find it incredibly hard to hide the crushing disappointment and foul mood I invariably put myself in. I have effectively ruined the rest of my day by losing, and I get angry at myself because of it. I don't get the same thing when I play football, maybe because I know that I'm such an incidental part of the team the eventual outcome isn't really down to any contribution I made.
Normally I'm the worst loser I know - in the sense of when I lose something, I take it badly, hide it badly - not so much in the general 'loser in life' type of thing. I'm pretty bad in that area too but by no means the worst I know - I just won a tankard after all. I think I get it from my Mum. There was a pub quiz we used to frequent in the dark days up north which was run by the boyfriend of one of the barmaids. At the end of the evening at which point the parent was suitably sauced she would comment at volume about how the 'fucking bar-team have done really fucking well and they're all thick as shit'. Even if we beat them.
I don't remember being this competitive as a kid, it was maybe something that kicked in when I was at college I think. I was the kid that could draw stuff at school, then when I got to college I was one kid among many who could draw stuff. I was no longer special. I had nothing left going for me. No fair. It now means that winning a tin pot sends me over the edge with triumphant ecstasy. It's a very nice tin pot though, go look at the photo again, look at how it gleams.
It's got me thinking about pub quizzes and how with the breadth of knowledge on tap in my place of work, we could clean up. In this bustling metropolis there must be tons of the things going on every night, with a carefully selected team we could be raking in cash money, splitting the profits and dancing off into the night with pewter tankards spilling out of every orifice. It's a golden plan with one flaw. I probably wouldn't make the team. I'm too much of an all rounder - a little bit of knowledge all over the place - not geeky enough in any particular field to be an essential part of a winning squad. Any question I answered last Thursday could have been answered by at least four or five other people in my shop, and there were other questions I didn't answer that they probably could. This would do my competitive streak no good at all, I would have to deal with being the weak link on an otherwise strong team. I would become resentful and feelings of inadequacy would ruin any fleeting triumphs the team would have.
Maybe.
More likely I would get more drunk than the others and have fun. Happy just to be a winner by association. Happy with my shiny tankard.
I am available for quizzes and any chances at fleeting glory. Winning is not guaranteed.
5 comments:
I love a pub quiz. Even when I get beaten by a team of people who virtually MAKE THEIR LIVING going around the country from pub quiz to pub quiz, winning them all, and even then, though there are four of them on their team and they are all middle-aged and theoretically full of lifetimes of accrued knowledge they only get two more questions right than me despite the fact that I am only 19 and on a team composed of me and three of my Uni girlie friends who are only there to get pissed and watch me strut my geek stuff and even when I get 88 questions right out of 100 and they get 90, even then, when I come second and win a slab of beer and I don't drink but its alright coz the girlies are delighted, even then I love a pub quiz.
I'd be up for more, if you find a good one and give me advance warning. Can't speak for Sinister. But the last time he and I were in a pub quiz, we did pretty well.
My favourite ever pub quiz question: Name Tom Cruise's character in "The Firm".
Even I didn't know I knew that, but turns out I did.
Mitch McDeere. Only Tom Cruise could play a character called Mitch McDeere.
I'm not that good at Pub quizzes, only am I useful in the event of a Romantic Comedies Soundtrack round or a question about the weather forecasts in teh west country. I know the answers but never quicker than anyone else, and occasionally I get overexcited about knowing an answer so shout it. Basically I'm not very good and should be left out of all teams.
There was a Disney round at the quiz so you could well have been handy then. Anything made before the mid-eighties and I'm very ropey.
I'll start looking around for likely quiz locations/dates etc. See what kind of a squad we can put together.
If we don't include the Frenchie he'll never forgive us mind.
Everyone start boning up on Tom Cruise character names. Or we could just ask David.
Sorry to pottymouth your comments thread, but I fuckin love a pub quiz, me. I went to four in Shields last week. Yes, I drink too much. It was just me and the lady, of course, so we got possed by the various professionals. A couple of them started to recognise us by the third sitting. I wondered if maybe they'd spot our potential and merge us into one of their teams, to help with questions about Clash B-sides or the poetry of Jim Morrison. Or they'll just spot me as the alcoholic I am, and shun me for my feeble knowledge of Britain's motorways and roadbridges.
The MGM, where Elvis played. Even I knew that. I also knew he'd get his clock cleaned.
They used to do a cracking film quiz at Clapham picture house. It was very difficult, Dave, you'd love it: "And this weeks quiz has a round about the films of 1937, and Emir Kusturica." Hardcore. Me and three friends went for over a year, and we only won once, but it was the sweetest of victories as a result of the wait.
I also was part of the team that (prepare the trumpet) won the Time Out student quiz of 1998. This would be quite impressive, as it was against two teams from every university in London, except that it was a real pub quiz, with questions about football, music, soaps etc, and all the other people were real brainiacs with useful knowledge about science and that. Didn't help them meet Donna McPhail, though did it?
I imagine that us commenter's would make a formidable team, though. What do you think?
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